The Rub, Quite Literally February 25, 2008

Alright, I’m gonna get personal for a second here.   I have noticed a trend within myself, whereby after not having sex for six months, I go bat-shit crazy like a miniature schnauzer in heat, wanting to rub myself on something at least twice a day, if not twice an hour.  It’s intense.  This phase lasts about three months, if this time is like any other Dry Spell.  Months six to nine are really rough for me.  I don’t know why.  What I do know is that I can’t think straight, and what with the coming of the spring breezes, well…someone, somewhere is in for it in a big way.  I feel like I’m going to explode.  I feel like the blood is boiling in my veins.  I feel like I might gain some clarity if I were to bang my head on a wall until dizzy.  I’m a big, whiny baby, I know.  And I’ve certainly gone longer than six months since sexual activity begin, but ye gads! six to nine months is a special, frenzied time, especially when those months correspond with the changing of the seasons.  Do you think my ovaries know it’s a time for rebirth?   Given these specific circumstances, I have been devoting entirely too much to the Pursuit of Scandal.  I need to do something a little crazy to spice things up, something to serve as the hallmark of Total Insanity that I am preparing to descend into, with spring break, and then graduation, and the summer time so close I can almost grab it.   I have a pretty good idea how I’d like this craziness to manifest, but it’s a tricky situation, hard to maneuver.  Some days, it feels impossible, but then she smiles at me with this secret twinkle, and speaks in code that I have to break down, analyze, replay, adding layers to this clandestine dance in which we are engaged.  She’s a riddle, and a Pandora’s Box, an Untouchable.  My charms are hard to resist, however, when I’m laying them on so pretty, and she is warming just like the ground; slowly, but consistently.   Really, I need to focus on graduating.  I just have to get there.  Three short months.  They will probably be the fastest three months of my life, and then onto the next chapter in this epic adventure that just gets more exciting every.  single.  day.   I am seriously girl crazy right now.  It’s ridiculous.  I’m a grown ass woman.  Maybe that is precisely the issue at hand; stupid spiking sex drive.